uhhhhh

i am NO GOOD AT SCHOOL. i am so unmotivated and lazy and everything else. I dont know when i will wake up and tell myself that i need to get shit done. I love music and any class pertaining to music but i cant sit through these classes that pose no interest to me. And then i stop and think about my own thought process and realize how much this state of mind has set me back. People of equal or quite frankly lesser intelligence have made it much further than i have. i have no accomplishment. of course i cherish the brains and intelligence i have, but by being so ignorant and so unnerved about the future i have unknowingly set myself back a great deal. and of course every person knows that what they do now eventually causes repercussion in the future, but the choice to live by "out of sight, out of mind" makes you basically have a pretty easy set up until you come to the big crossroads. So basically by FUCKING myself i am stuck at community college taking english 105, intro to anthropology, math 96; in their stead i could be taking something more mind expanding music theory, classical lecture. i could be at a university sitting one on one with a teacher there to show me exactly what i need to better myself as a musician. of course theres ways to do this myself, but im still me. i need to do some major inner changes. NOT TO MENTION MY SOCIAL LIFE IS A DRAG. HAHA im a complainer, this shit is weak.