i have some serious gushing to do, this is probably the best place to do it. not COMPLAINING if thats what it seems, just some ideas, thoughts, worries, that i've bounced around in my own head for a few weeks now.
what is to come with this fall? i am completely unsure as to what i need to do to feel some kind of energy in myself. should i continue school? try to get a full time job, save up, and take off somewhere? this life is becoming stagnant day to day, not so much the people, just my life personally. how id love to relocate the 8 block radius that all my friends live in and stick it somewhere else. so these are the things i am dealing with. i know i SHOULD be in school, blah blah. but if i could have the chance to save up and get away, even for just a month, that would be worth a semester off. probably not beneficial, but worth it. i don't have much holding me back, i don't feel like it would matter much where i ended up or what my decisions are. i just cant wrap my head around the idea of relocating, seems impossible in my puny little brain. i'm not good at much, mediocre at best, including hard work, school work, and saving up. i'm some punk with dreams but no ambition. i need a kick in the ass to jump start something, anything. i have to leave before i am left so maybe this is what will come out of me this summer? we will see.
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